Rise, Neighbots, Rise!

    I'm pretty sure that not riding my bike for a month-and-a-half has caused some neural misfiring which in turn has led me to believe my bad jokes are actually really funny.  I could get a brain scan to confirm this, but I don't want to find out I'm a psychopath who just hasn't happened to kill anyone (yet).  Will you still love me if I'm missing an amygdala, dear reader? I think I'll stay in the dark about that one.
   Here is what I am missing - most of the important top layers of epidermis from my face and hands, and a time, long ago, when I didn't have to cut the arms off of sweaters and put them on my legs.  Please don't tell me if hipsters are doing this, too.  Hopefully, they're too busy knitting sweaters for penguins.
   The Penguin Foundation states on their website, "This is not a fashion statement!"  Oh, those wily New Zealanders!  They knew exactly what they were doing when they wrote that.  Not only did every granny in Oceania heed the call, but every hipster in Brooklyn took to their grottoes and garrets and knitted thousands of sweaters for penguins.

   There was such a surfeit of sweaters, in fact, that the wildlife organizations sent out a plea to STOP KNITTING PENGUIN SWEATERS.  They ended up with over 15,000 sweaters, which they found a way to sell separately to raise funds.

"Help! Some hipsters are trying to put more sweaters on us!"

There was even some controversy over whether or not the whole thing was really a hoax (with elaborately photoshopped penguins?), but someone in Portland has cleared it up for us.

   The hipsters who have managed to put down their knitting needles are now busy wearing monocles, according to The New York Times.  They can't knit and wear monocles at the same time, because they're expending too much effort holding them to their eyes in a foppish manner.

I'm thinking about squeezing my torso into a penguin sweater, shaving my head like a samurai, and holding a monocle to my eye in a foppish manner.  And I will finish this look off with the Top Accessory of the Most Soul-Destroying Winter in History - sweater legs.

This photo doesn't capture completely the ridiculousness of said sweater legs, although the "puss in boots" effect at the knee is somewhat visible.  Normally, when it isn't so warm out (it's 15° F right now), the sweater legs would be a third layer under jeans or snowpants or whatever.

   So I was going to ride my bike today, but I didn't want to wear sweater legs, or the thousands of other clothing layers that I am officially sick to death of wearing.  With the wind chill being somewhere around 0°, I felt that the past three months of riding in 0° wind chill had filled my winter cycling quota, and I decided to take the dog on a long walk instead.  We headed for the water, because that's where the wind chill was below zero.  The route I like takes us past Castle Aaaghh!

That was early on in the walk.  Then, keeping in a westerly direction, we passed through Columbus Parkway.

You can see Castle Aaaghh! in the distance behind us.  Then it was on to Front Park.

Like all Olmsted Parks in Buffalo, Front Park has a highway running through it - actually several arterials, all converging at the Peace Bridge to Canada.

After making it across that, we were safely in the park with some local fauna.

My dog might look like he's interested in the geese way in the background, but he's actually calculating their poop output, and how much of it he can snarf up before I start yelling.
We made our way to the opposite entrance to the park, where there is an onramp to the 190.

 We crossed that without incident, and then it was over the bridge above the 190, where the sidewalk hasn't been plowed since snow started falling in November.

 At the end of the bridge is the offramp of the 190,

and then after crossing this we were free to enter La Salle Park.  Believe it or not, this is one of the least stressful routes in the city to walk a dog (or just to walk).  We took the path straight ahead (that grey band in the distance is Lake Erie) to the water.

And here we were at the Mighty Lake.  The point of land in the distance is Waverly Beach in Ontario, Canada, where I'm sure it was at least one degree warmer.

And...more lake.  You might have noticed by now that it is completely frozen.  The only open water on almost the entire thing is that grey band in the distance that is the beginnings of the Niagara River. 
   We moved out of the insane headwind and walked back eastward to Rotary Park and the bike path, where the dog decided that every field mouse in existence was hiding, and there were no more pictures possible.

Here we have the lovely fake Roycroft lettering indicating the entrance.

I really wish I could have gotten a photo of the dog with his head completely buried in a snow drift looking for mice, because it was pretty darn cute.  He was also really glad I didn't go for a bike ride.